3) The One Where Harry Gets Drunk
by Babyprincessrainbowfish
Summary: After a long hard week, Harry goes out to get a simple drink, but winds up getting seriously drunk and things get weird. (The third story to the "The One Where" series). Hope it's okay. Review and let me know what you're thinking so far


#3 The One Where Harry Gets Drunk

"Harry, can you give these to Jonathan?" Ron handed Harry a stack of papers about an inch thick. "Those were his, but he never came back to retrieve them."

"Who would've guessed? Ron Weasley cleaning his desk," Millicent Bulstrode snorted, coming into the office.

"Hey, Millicent," Harry greeted.

"Hey, could you take these papers to Jonathan?" Ron asked, snatching the papers from Harry and trying to shove them at Millicent instead.

"Ew, no. You take them. I swear, if I get anywhere near that annoying little prick, I'll rip out all his intestines and make a stew out of them."

Harry was torn between laughing and making a face. "That'd be some nasty stew."

Millicent laughed, "No kidding."

Ron and Harry glanced down to find Millicent's black cat, Nancy, following her into the office.

"I see you brought Furball in here," Ron scowled. He didn't like Millicent's cat; the last time he tried to pet it, it nearly ripped off his arm viciously.

"Her name is Nancy," Millicent scowled back at the redhead. "And if you favour keeping your organs inside your skinny runt body, call her by her name."

Ron swallowed and quickly slid behind Harry for protection. Harry rolled his eyes and stepped away.

"Hey, don't hurt me!" Ron cried. "You can't hurt somebody they just promoted!"

Harry froze. "Promoted?"

"Yes. Promoted."

"As in, the one they were going to give me?" Harry was frustrated now.

"Sorry, Harry. Manager called me in and said he was promoting me. I actually wasn't supposed to tell anybody. That just slipped out."

"You weren't going to tell me?" Harry grit his teeth now. "Ron, I've been waiting weeks for this promotion!"

"Sorry!" Ron whined. "I didn't even ask for it!"

"Whatever. I'm going to go give these to Jonathan, and then I'm going home," he informed Ron. He then turned and walked out the door, leaving Millicent and Ron alone. Not that they'd do anything; Ron was married to Hermione, and terrified of Millicent, anyways.

Fists clenched, he walked through the halls, which were almost empty, down to the end of the hall, where Jonathan's office was. Balancing the papers in one hand, he knocked on the door with the other.

"One second!" Jonathan called. Harry could hear lots of rustling and whispering. He rolled his eyes, irritated. Did anybody ever have the misfortune to walk in on Jonathan doing this?

I wonder if Malfoy makes out with people all the time, , where did that thought come from? Geez, I've GOT to stop thinking about Malfoy. I do not care whether he's a slut or not. I do not care whether he's back or not. I do not care...

"Hey, sorry about that, I was just-"

"Look, I don't care who you were snogging in there. Just take these

papers," Harry interrupted, shoving the papers at Jonathan and quickly spun around and sped-walked down the hall toward the stairs, fighting to control his temper, which had appeared all of a sudden.

When Harry left the building, he breathed in deeply, and let it out slowly. Where had his temper suddenly come from? Oh, I know. When Ron got the promotion I've been waiting for, and then decided not to tell me!

He checked his watch. It was 2:45 p.m. Harry glanced around at all the people, getting off work, or mothers taking their children to the park down the street. Harry sighed. He decided to go visit the muggle town, so he slipped into an alley, and apparated.

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As Harry walked into McDonalds, he patted his pocket, glad he had muggle money with him.

"A double cheeseburger, large fries, and a drink," Harry told the cashier. He clicked some keys on the register.

"$4.25," the cashier responded.

Harry handed him a five dollar bill, and the cashier handed him three quarters back. Harry stuffed them in his pocket, then stepped out of the way and waited for his food. When the cashier handed him his food, Harry thanked him, took it and sat down in a booth all alone, staring out the window. He eventually unwrapped the cheeseburger, and the smell abruptly reminded Harry of how hungry he was in the first place. He devoured the cheeseburger, then began eating the fries. Every once in a while, he stopped to take a sip of his Powerade, which was his favorite drink.

"You seem rather distracted."

Harry jumped at the soft voice. When he looked up, Luna Lovegood slid into the booth across from him. "Is it alright if I join you?"

"Um, yeah. But what are you doing here? Aren't you working?"

Luna smiled. "Hermione insisted I take the day off. I've been working overtime. She says I'll work myself to death."

Harry snickered at the irony. "Hermione said that?"

Luna laughed. "Yes." She seemed to pick up on where Harry was going with that.

Harry shook his head, smiling slightly. Then he popped another fry into his mouth.

"So, what's got you so stressed, Harry?" Luna's butterbeer cork necklace hung around her neck, and she wore an oversized pink hoodie, lime green shorts, and black converse with little red strawberries on them. They were similar to the ones Luna had in school years ago, before they were stolen. She also wore pink knee-high socks. Her blonde hair was pulled back, braided down her back. on her wrist, there was a bracelet with a small hare penchant on it. Harry knew it was because of her patronus.

"I'm... not." Harry chomped down on another fry.

Luna shook her head, staring dreamily at him. "Harry, you're not good at hiding how you're feeling."

"I know. I just... did you know Malfoy's back?"

"Draco? He is returned?" Luna's eyes brightened.

"Yes. With his son."

"Oh, he has married!" Luna pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Has he married Pansy?"

Harry shook his head. "No. No. I'm friends with Pansy now. She's not married anymore. I do not know who Draco- Malfoy- is married to. All I know is he's moved from Colorado and has a son named Scorpius."

"Scorpius?" Luna's tone showed interest. "What an interesting name."

No kidding.

"Is Draco's return bothering you?"

"No. Yes. I don't... even know. I just... everybody's obsessed with him now. Just because he's come back after vanishing for two years. Everybody says... he's a slut now." Harry shoved four fries into his mouth, staring out the window again.

"Hmm. Well, I suppose they don't really know, do they now?" Luna shook her head. "They do not know whether they speak the truth or not."

"I... suppose not. Thank you, Luna."

Luna smiled, standing up and straightening out her hoodie, which was so big that it nearly covered her shorts. Luna was actually quite pretty. Even if she did look a bit strange looking. But with how muggles dressed these days, she didn't stick out too much. Which was good.

"You are welcome, Harry. I hope to see you soon. Goodbye for now." She smiled and then left.

Luna's comment floated through Harry's skull. They do not know whether they speak the truth or not.

He shoveled the rest of his fries into his mouth, dumped his trash into the trash can, and left the building.

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Harry was walking around town. At 9:57 p.m, it was getting dark. Walking past an alley, he heard a sound. His hand itched for his wand. But showing his wand amongst muggles was pretty much forbidden.

He wanted to peer down the alley, but decided that it wouldn't be wise. But apparently, Harry had spent a second too long making up his mind, because he was yanked into the alley before he could escape.

He was shoved against the wall roughly, and found himself staring into cold, dark eyes. The man had a scar across his face, from his left eyebrow to the corner of his mouth. Harry swallowed, nervous now.

"Hey, runt. Going somewhere?" The man's breath smelled of pizza. Harry's nose wrinkled at the smell, because he could also smell onions and anchovies.

"Home."

"Not anymore, you're not." With that, the man thrust a hand into Harry's pocket, and managed to retrieve his wand. Crap.

"A stick? What are you going to do, poke somebody with it?" The man laughed, it was a horrid sound.

"Give it back," Harry demanded, struggling against the grip.

The man threw the wand down on the ground. The wand did not break, but Harry could not reach it at all now.

"Let me go!" Harry yelped when the man pulled out his wallet. The man scanned through it, pulling out the muggle money he had. He also pulled out several galleons, sickles, and knuts. He stared at them, confused, but then shoved them into his own pockets as well. Harry growled angrily.

"Let me go and give me back my stuff!"

The man scowled at Harry, then took Harry by the shoulders and slammed

him roughly against the wall several more times before Harry slumped down the wall. He already knew he'd have bruises on his back tomorrow. When Harry opened his eyes again, the man was gone.

Harry carefully stood, groaning at his sore back. He retrieved his wand, managing to heal the scratches on his back. Then he climbed out of the alley, and decided he needed a drink. After all, nothing else could go wrong.

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The night was beginning to get chilly. Harry stuffed his hands in his pockets, shivering slightly. There weren't as many people out walking today, so the sounds of crickets sounded throughout the night and could be easily heard. The streetlights lit Harry's path, as the moon was covered by foggy clouds. The stars could not be seen either.

Harry sat down on a park bench, breathing deeply. Today was not a good day for him. Harry briefly wondered if Hermione knew about Ron's promotion.

Of course she would. He'd tell his fiancee, but not his best friend.

Harry laid his head back, closing his eyes and concentrating on the sounds of the night. The next time he opened his eyes and checked his watch, it was 11:15 p.m.

Better be getting to that drink if I want it.

Harry stood up, and a squirrel that had been standing still scampered off. Harry watched it until it disappeared up a tree, and then resumed walking to the bar/nightclub. No wizard would ever find him here, in the muggle world. Harry wasn't sure why he found that a relief.

He stepped around two muggle girls talking rather loudly and disrupting the night peace. He glared at them, but neither seemed to notice. He growled and sulked away.

When he finally made it to the bar, he hesitated before entering the building. A group of five or six kids pushed around him as he stood there, debating whether to go in or not.

What harm could it do? He finally pulled open the door and entered.

He was greeted by seven or eight drunk guys wrestling and yelling each other. He stepped around them, careful not to catch anybody's attention, and strolled to the back, where the bar was.

"One beer, please," he ordered.

The bartender, this one a female with a huge butt and huge boobs, handed him his glass, filled with beer. He threw back his head and tossed his drink in. It was a nasty flavor, but it relaxed him slightly.

"I think I'll have another one," Harry told her. She handed him another, then turned to talk to somebody else.

After seven glasses of beer, he began to see double. But it didn't matter. He was relaxed as hell.

" 'Nuth-uh glass!" Harry called out. When the glass was slid down the counter to him, he almost didn't catch it. He gulped it down quickly, then felt an unpleasant bubbling in his stomach. He turned and promptly fell to the floor, unable to see clearly. He crawled through people's legs to the bathroom, where he threw up all over the sink.

"Eww!" Somebody yelled behind Harry. Harry twisted his head around to see who it was, but his vision was getting blurrier by the minute. He didn't even care who it was, anyway. He pushed himself off the floor, where he'd slid, and stumbled along until the person stepped out of the way, muttering angrily. Harry ran into the doorway of the bathroom, then made his way slowly back to the bar, ordered another drink, and almost threw up drinking that one, too. He was busy laying his head on the counter when half an hour later, a brunette boy walked up to him. "Hello."

"H-Hey!" Harry said, a little too loudly, as he flinched at his own voice.

"Wanna come with me?" The boy leaned over and gently kissed Harry's cheek.

"I'm Harry!" Harry yelped, surprised at the affection from this strange boy.

"I'm Jeremy." Jeremy once more leaned over and kissed Harry's skin right behind his left ear, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist. He began to nibble Harry's ear, and Harry shuddered. This was so strange, but his brain wasn't even interpreting it correctly. There was no doubt that tomorrow, Harry would either have no recollection of this, or he'd sorrowfully regret it.

"Soo... you wanna come with me, Harry?"

Harry dumbly nodded, mute for once. Jeremy smiled, planting another soft kiss on Harry's neck, and then pulled him off his seat, leading him to the back door, seductively batting his hazel eyes at Harry.

The first thing Harry noticed out back was how many people were out there. All Harry could hear were moans, and seductive speaking. Jeremy guided him past lots of gay couples. There was a couple consisting of an asian boy and a white boy with dark brown hair, kissing deeply. It wasn't very long before Harry also noticed that the asian, the one pushed against the wall, was half undressed. And it wasn't the upper half that was undressed, either. Jeremy managed to tug Harry away just as the the brown-haired boy got to his knees.

Passing lots of gay couples, Jeremy finally backed Harry into a wall, leaning forward, and kissed him deeply. Harry gasped, and felt Jeremy's tongue slide into his mouth. One of them, Harry wasn't sure which one, made a slight moaning noise. Jeremy pressed closer. Then Jeremy began sucking and kissing Harry's neck, moaning softly. Harry squirmed slightly when he felt Jeremy's hand closing over the front of his jeans. Jeremy must've taken that as a good sign, because when he was finished with Harry's neck, Jeremy began undoing Harry's belt, and then his jeans. He was just sliding his hand down the front of Harry's pants when the pressure was suddenly gone. Harry opened his eyes, (he didn't even remember closing them), and a blond boy stood, scowling at Jeremy, who had wound up on the ground.

"Go fuck with somebody else," the blond scowled. "This one's mine."

Jeremy sniffled haughtily and walked away, no doubt going to find another person to seduce.

The blond quickly helped Harry do up his pants and belt again, then grabbed Harry by the hand and yanked him away from other people, out of view.

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Harry wasn't quite sure when they'd arrived, or even how, but the next thing he knew, he was in a house, in a bed. The blond had given Harry another drink, and Harry had drank it, his vision doubling again.

The blond pushed Harry back onto his back, crawling on top of him to straddle him, and kissed him, slipping his tongue into Harry's mouth. Harry couldn't help thinking that this boy was a much better kisser than Jeremy.

"I'll say," the blond smirked, pushing his hips down. Harry gasped at a noticeable pressure down low, and forgot to think that he'd just said his thought about the kissing out loud.

The blond was much smoother than Jeremy had been as he quickly began undoing Harry, slipping his shirt over his head and off. Harry managed to do the same to the blond.

"You're so- hic- muscled." Harry ran his hands over the blond's chest briefly before yawning. The blond leaned down to kiss Harry again, and Harry let him.

The last thing Harry remembered before passing out that night was a slight pain, then blunt pleasure, and being kissed breathless. Then he was out.

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Author's Note: Okay, sorry about the slight slash but I made sure it didn't go TOO far. Also, I made Harry's fav muggle drink Powerade, because that's one of my boyfriend's fav drinks, too.

Review and lemme know how I'm doing! Fourth one should be published tomorrow! Thanks so much for reading


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